Episode 41: Dear Royal Nature Influencers

This is our letter to the Royal Nature Influencers. We hope that you find the comical satire in our letters and stay tuned for more letters to come.

Legal Disclaimer: The following letter is a work of satire and comedy. All names, events, and scenarios are fictionalized for humorous purposes and are not intended to be taken as factual statements.

READ THE LETTER - EPISODE 41 - Dear Royal Nature Influencers

Dear Royal Nature Influencers,

 

Thanks for saving the planet, one private jet at a time.

 

Climate-Conscious Celebrities, Billionaire Eco-Philanthropists, and Earth-Tweeting Royals,

 

We just wanted to extend a heartfelt “thank you” for all that tireless influencing you’re doing to save the planet, while gliding from one speaking engagement to another in your carbon-chugging Gulfstreams.

 

Your passion is inspiring. The way you tell us to reduce our carbon footprints while you rack up enough air miles to personally melt a glacier?

 

That’s not hypocrisy; that’s climate leadership.

 

We especially love:

• Your Instagram posts about clean oceans... while wearing a $9,000 polyester gown that took more fossil fuels than a NASCAR season.
• Your speeches about global warming delivered from yachts the size of medium countries.
• The “green-certified” mega-mansions that require more electricity than small towns, but hey, solar panels on the guest house? Iconic.

 

And let’s not forget your most noble crusade: lecturing middle-class families about eating bugs, biking to work, and ditching meat, while your climate summits serve Wagyu beef and Champagne flown in from two hemispheres.

 

You don’t just talk the talk; you fly over it in a helicopter.

But honestly, thank you.

Because every time you open your recycled-content mouth about climate change while living like an oil baron, you do something magical:

 

You prove conspiracy theorists right... and comedians very, very busy.

 

So please, keep sipping that oat milk latte from a diamond-encrusted tumbler.

You’re changing the world.

Or at least your PR image.

 

Planetarily yours,
The Peasants With No Private Jet, No Choice, and All the Guilt

 

Legal Disclaimer: The following letter is a work of satire and comedy. All names, events, and scenarios are fictionalized for humorous purposes and are not intended to be taken as factual statements.