Episode 35: Dear Tech Startups Solving Problems No One Asked About

This is our letter to the Tech Startups Solving Problems No One Asked About. We hope that you find the comical satire in our letters and stay tuned for more letters to come.

Legal Disclaimer: The following letter is a work of satire and comedy. All names, events, and scenarios are fictionalized for humorous purposes and are not intended to be taken as factual statements. 

READ THE LETTER - EPISODE 35 - Dear Tech Startups Solving Problems No One Asked About

Dear Tech Startups Solving Problems No One Asked About,

Thank you for your tireless effort to reinvent wheels that no one wanted to ride in the first place.

While the world wrestles with climate change, housing crises, income inequality, and access to basic healthcare, you’ve heroically stepped up to create...an app that delivers artisanal oat milk to people already standing in a grocery store.

Your innovation is unmatched. Where others see societal issues, you see venture capital potential in Bluetooth-enabled toasters that tell us how our bread is “feeling.”

You’ve disrupted things that weren’t broken. You’ve optimized life into a frictionless nightmare. You’ve given us dog-sitting NFTs, Uber-but-for-staring-at-plants, and blockchain-powered journaling apps to track our trauma, securely and anonymously, of course.

And your pitches? Chef’s kiss. “It’s like LinkedIn but for introverted reptiles.” “It’s DoorDash but exclusively for soup.” “We’re building the Airbnb of thoughts.” Incredible.

So, here’s to you, brave technologists. May your burn rates be as high as your confidence, and your IPO dreams be as inflated as your user metrics.

With appreciation we never asked to give,
Everyone Who Just Wanted a Better Public Transit System

Legal Disclaimer: The following letter is a work of satire and comedy. All names, events, and scenarios are fictionalized for humorous purposes and are not intended to be taken as factual statements.