Episode 32: Dear Gym Bros Who Give Unsolicited Advice Mid-Rep

This is our letter to the Gym Bros Who Give Unsolicited Advice Mid-Rep. We hope that you find the comical satire in our letters and stay tuned for more letters to come.

Legal Disclaimer: The following letter is a work of satire and comedy. All names, events, and scenarios are fictionalized for humorous purposes and are not intended to be taken as factual statements. 

READ THE LETTER - EPISODE 32 - Dear Gym Bros Who Give Unsolicited Advice Mid-Rep

Dear Gym Bros Who Give Unsolicited Advice Mid-Rep,

Thank you for pausing your third set of shirtless mirror selfies to come over and bless us with your sacred knowledge of “proper form,” “gains,” and the “bro code.”

 

Because what every person balancing 200 pounds over their head absolutely needs in that exact moment is a stranger breathing creatine wisdom into their ear like a protein-scented Yoda.

 

Do we look like we asked for your help?

Were we flailing wildly? Crying? Performing a sacred ritual on the squat rack?

No? Then maybe, just maybe, we were trying to mind our business and finish a workout without commentary from someone who refers to their biceps as “the twins.”

 

It’s impressive, really.

How do you manage to combine zero credentials with 100% confidence?

How you insert yourself into every workout space like you're the gym's unpaid motivational speaker delivering bro science TED Talks between deadlifts.

 

And let's not forget the way you phrase it:

 

“Hey, not to interrupt, but…”
(Spoiler alert: You did.)

“Just thought I’d let you know you’re kind of doing that wrong…”
(Nope, actually just different. But thanks for the mansplain.)

 

Newsflash, bench prophet:

Not everyone wants to look like a Dorito in joggers.

Some people just want to move their body, get stronger, or radical thought feel good without being corrected by someone who thinks pre-workout is a personality.

 

So, unless we ask for a spot, an opinion, or a side of your whey-fueled philosophy, we respectfully ask:

Re-rack your advice. Return it to the shelf.

Let the gym be the sanctuary it’s meant to be, a place where people sweat, struggle, and maybe even succeed without being told “you’d get way more activation if you pivoted your stance like this, bro.”

 

Sincerely Savage,
Everyone Just Trying to Work Out Without Being Coached by a Stranger with Vein Envy

 

Legal Disclaimer: The following letter is a work of satire and comedy. All names, events, and scenarios are fictionalized for humorous purposes and are not intended to be taken as factual statements.