Episode 14: Klaus Schwab

This is our letter to Klaus Schwab. We hope that you find the comical satire in our letters and stay tuned for more letters to come.

Legal Disclaimer: The following letter is a work of satire and comedy. All names, events, and scenarios are fictionalized for humorous purposes and are not intended to be taken as factual statements. 

READ THE LETTER - EPISODE 14 - Dear Klaus Schwab

Dear Klaus Schwab,

 

We wanted to personally thank you for doing more to legitimize conspiracy theorists than a thousand Reddit threads ever could. Truly, sir, your contribution to the credibility of tinfoil hats cannot be overstated. You’ve managed to take things that used to get people laughed off the internet and publish them in hardcover with a foreword by a Swiss-accented Bond villain.

 

“You’ll own nothing and be happy.”

That used to be dystopian sci-fi.

Now it’s a quote from your website.

 

You see, Klaus, back in the day, when people warned that global elites were meeting behind closed doors to design a top-down, digitally surveilled, socially engineered future—where governments and corporations work hand-in-hand to track, trace, and control the masses—they were called crazy.

 

Then you came along… and live-streamed it from Davos.

 

You openly pitched central bank digital currencies, digital ID systems, and social credit-style environmental tracking—all while surrounded by a parade of unelected billionaires, climate alarmists, and techno-authoritarians nodding in agreement like Bond henchmen during a doomsday briefing.

 

Honestly, Klaus, it’s impressive.

You’ve turned “What if the elites want to micromanage humanity?” into “Here’s the official PowerPoint.”

You say it’s for the greater good. To “build back better.”

But let’s be real: you’ve built the World Micromanagement Forum, where average people are seen as statistics to be nudged, shaped, and surveilled.

 

Your version of utopia sounds suspiciously like feudalism with better branding.

 

And while you discuss climate change from the cockpit of your private jet and nibble filet mignon while suggesting we eat crickets, you wonder why people are skeptical?

 

You say you're about transparency—so thank you for being so painfully obvious about it.

 

Thanks to you:

• Conspiracy theorists are now archivists.
• “Global reset” no longer sounds crazy—it sounds like the title of your next book.
• And normal people are finally paying attention to how dangerous centralized “good intentions” can be.

 

So, from the bottom of our carbon-emitting, independently-thinking, steak-eating hearts…

 

Thank you.

Thank you for confirming what so many suspected.

Thank you for making freedom cool again.

And thank you for proving that the only thing more dangerous than conspiracy theories… is when they’re no longer theories.

 

Sincerely Savage,
The Free World (yes, we still exist)

 

P.S. If you really want us to “own nothing and be happy,” maybe you should start by giving up your castle first. We’ll wait.

 

Legal Disclaimer: The following letter is a work of satire and comedy. All names, events, and scenarios are fictionalized for humorous purposes and are not intended to be taken as factual statements.